


No Longer Us

by Haely_Potter



Series: Bending the Universe [17]
Category: Doctor Who
Genre: Angst, F/M, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-03-18
Updated: 2014-03-18
Packaged: 2018-01-16 04:43:32
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,467
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/1332340
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Haely_Potter/pseuds/Haely_Potter
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>After what happened on the 51st century spaceship Rose realizes she doesn't know this new Doctor and thinks of the differences between him and her first Doctor.<br/>Meanwhile, the Doctor doesn't know how to approach Rose without scaring her away and therefore has drawn himself away from her.<br/>Mickey's just getting bored of being coped in the TARDIS and watching football for two weeks.</p>
            </blockquote>





	No Longer Us

**Author's Note:**

> Inspired by the song Me ei olla enää me by Sanni.

_We're no longer us_.

The thought hit Rose hard as she watched from the hallway entrance as the Doctor tinkered with the TARDIS. He hadn't been doing much else since 18th century France on a spaceship. Since Reinette.

Since Sarah Jane, if she was honest.

The feeling had been creeping up on her since the Doctor regenerated. Immediately she'd known he was different, of course, but he'd also been the same in so many ways. He'd still held her hand and smiled at her ( _with her_ ), protected her ( _or tried to_ ). But he no longer read to her. No longer sought her out during down time in the TARDIS. Didn't wake her up by sticking his head in her room, telling her it was a  _fantastic_  day and was she going to waste it away, sleeping, or was she going to get up and have an adventure with him on a random planet? He avoided being alone with her. No more movie nights or making fun of the history channel, her snuggled close to his side. He barely thanked her when she made him tea where as before he'd always paused in whatever he was doing to look her in the eyes as he thanked her.

Before the krilitines and meeting Sarah Jane she had just thought he liked different things. Maybe he'd like swimming or bird watching instead of reading and watching telly and it'd take a while to find out and then they'd go back to doing things together again, she'd thought. But after that night at Sarah Jane's, when she'd been getting a glass of water after everyone was supposed to be in bed, she'd accidentally heard the Doctor reading Dickens to Sarah Jane, like he used to do with her on a sleepless night, and she realized some things stayed through regeneration, she didn't have time to figure things out before Reinette.

She had accepted the Doctor's explanation of why he hadn't told her of the other people who'd traveled with him, and had even rejoiced in the fact that he had inadvertently promised she could travel with him as long as she wanted ( _forever_ ).

But now she wasn't sure she could do it.

And he'd left her, after specifically promising he wouldn't not twenty-four hours earlier.

She could have done it with the old Doctor, easily. She knew him. Knew he had nightmares of the Time War, knew he regretted what he'd done to end it. He'd had a hard interior but a soft inside, like a coconut.

But this this new Doctor... he had a soft outside, was welcoming and nice and flirty, but you just couldn't get close to him. At least... Rose couldn't. And that hurt, probably more than anything she'd ever experienced, even being left by that wanker, Jimmy.

And now that she couldn't get close to him, she couldn't comfort him in his hour of need, like she used to. Couldn't even be the shoulder to cry on.

She bit her lip when her mother's voice said she should go home and leave the alien git. She could do that, yes, but... he'd be so lonely.

But then again, he could find someone else to travel with, someone else to hold hands with, someone else to run with... someone more brilliant than her, shop girl extraordinary. It wouldn't be hard for him to replace her...

Why had he said she could spend the rest of her life with him, but Sarah Jane couldn't? Was it that seeing her age wouldn't hurt as much as seeing Sarah Jane age would?

Rose stopped her train of thought. These weren't thoughts to be had in public, even if the only two members of public were otherwise engaged, one with the sports channel in the media room and the other with tinkering on the TARDIS. Especially when the one closer to her was actually a touch telepath with the habit of holding her hand.

With that she turned and fled the console room, making sure her steps weren't all that hurried so to stop herself from distracting the Doctor.

She had a lot to think about, and options to consider, without Mickey or the Doctor finding her.

Well, after a good cry.

'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'

The Doctor heard Rose's footsteps fade to the distance as he pretended to tinker. The echo remained in his head for a good long while before he gave up with a sigh, letting the laser spanner fall to the grating.

He hasn't known how to approach her since he regenerated. His feelings, already amorous by the time, had grown exponentially and he feared he'd do something to drive her away, so he drew away himself. Exploring new planets and times didn't change, there was ever little chance of...  _more_  during adventures, but inside the TARDIS... Oh, how he longed to have her snuggled up to him while he read Harry Potter or A song of Ice and Fire to her, or even to see her bed head before she had the chance to tame it early in the morning when he woke her up. Or dancing! He had a feeling he loved dancing this time around. (Honestly he had loved dancing last time too, though only with her, only with his Rose.)

But still, he kept his distance.

Distance that seemed to have grow to a gaping chasm when he came back from France with Reinette's letter.

When she'd seen him come back, she'd turned around and walked away. He'd followed her, because he'd really needed a cuddle, much like after the Dalek in Utah, and she'd closed the door of her room to his face.

For a long time he'd rested his forehead against the wood of the door, trying to listen to what was going on inside, but he had a feeling the TARDIS had been soundproofing the room.

That's when he knew he'd made a mistake. If his ship tried to give Rose her privacy, tried to keep him away from her, he must've messed up big time. He just hoped she wouldn't leave. That she'd continue traveling with him, because seeing her smile and laugh while exploring... he felt alive then, in a way he'd only ever felt with her.

During the following weeks of vortex time he gave her plenty of chances to come and talk to him. He maintained the TARDIS at first, and when the actual maintenance work ran out, he pretended to tinker, hoping to encourage Rose to sit on the captain's seat and talk. But she never did. She'd sit quietly, watching him, sometimes for hours, only taking breaks to eat and make tea.

When she laid his tea beside him, he couldn't face her. Couldn't see her eyes, normally so vibrant and full of life and joy and warmth, being shut and cold and closed off to him. So he just thanked her, trying his hardest to concentrate on whatever it was that he was doing.

She had been so wary of him after he'd regenerated. She'd slept in her room  _at Jackie's apartment_  instead of her room on the TARDIS while they were there during New Year. He'd found her in the library after New Earth with the Complete Works of Charles Dickens on her lap, reading, when before she'd only ever asked him to read them to her. When Mickey came on board, he'd walked in on them cuddling while watching telly in the media room, something she'd used to do with him, the old him, the big eared him.

He'd rarely been jealous of himself, but this time he wished he was still all big ears and hooked nose and northern accent instead of a pretty boy with great hair and a London accent, because Rose had liked, maybe even loved, that him.

He no longer knew what to say to her, how to go up to her and say  _Hey, wanna head to the library and read the Hunger Games with me?_  Before regeneration he could hide behind the gruff exterior and say he was taking care of her general education, reading Dickens to her but now... And Harry Potter, while totally awesome, wouldn't be considered classic literature in her time for another hundred years.

But right now the TARDIS was blaring mental alarms at him, sending him picture's of Rose crying in her room while snuggled with his last self's leather jacket.

With a determined nod, he left the console room and went to... actually talk to Rose.

'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'*'

Mickey hoped the two idiots he was traveling with would get their shit together soon, because he was getting bored of football, not that he'd ever admit it, and wanted to see another planet or something.

Hey, even tin dogs needed some excitement in their lives!


End file.
